Thursday, July 21, 2011

I will return!

There is an ending to this story. In fact, all of my entries were composed months ago, before the kids got out of school for the summer. And then I started this blog and guess what? The kids got out of school for the summer! Yep, bad time to begin blogging.

In case I didn't mention it before, the writings that I am posting were written in a "course" that I took called Soul Design, based on the book by Rev. Martha Frizlanger. The weekly assignments follow the order of service and the suggested writing activities are based on that. It seemed an overwhelming task at first, but each week, when I would sit and ponder and pray, God would just send the memories and words flowing back to me as I needed them. It was really an amazing process to get out of the way and let God send the stories and the words. So much easier than when I try to be completely in charge.

Turns out that I am as wordy on paper as I am in real life and since I prefer to read blogs that are written in bite size morsels (yes, I am a food blog junkie), I have broken my writings into several parts, so you'll need to start with part one of each topic if you want it to make more sense.

I had planned to give you an overview of the topics for each week, but I cannot find my Soul Design book. Might have something to do with the kids being home from school for the summer, or maybe I just misplace things. I'm going with number A, but I've been wrong before.

My hope in sharing these assignments on the webosphere is that maybe my faith journey sounds familiar to someone else, or interesting and causes someone to want to dig a little deeper and open their Bible or find a church. That's my hope.

So anyway, school starts in 3 weeks, and unless I decide to do something crazy like begin homeschooling again, I should be able to post more regularly by then. By the way, this "course" was done in a small group, just like a Bible study. If you are interested in having a group of your own do a Soul Design study, I can let you know how to find the book. Once I find my own :)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

prayer - part 3

Shortly after returning from the festivities in Baltimore, we would get a phone call from Steve's sister. Something wasn't quite right. She was taking Steve's mom to the doctor and would let us know what they figured out.

Beema had been doing so well that we were not prepared to learn the news that the cancer had returned and this time with a vengeance. There must have been a renegade cell left behind after surgery and it had spread throughout her body. There was no fighting it this time. Hospice was called in. Steve flew to upstate New York to be with his mom and a short time later she fell into a coma.

This was not at all what we were expecting. By now, you'd have thought I would have learned not to answer the phone. But I hadn't learned that lesson, so I picked up the receiver the next day to hear Pere (my step-Dad) on the other end. He and my mom were at the ocean house, about 3 hours from Baltimore, but were heading back home early because Mom was having trouble breathing. He'd call me after they saw the doctor.

God blessed me with some wonderful friends in Tennessee. Here I was, husband at his mother's side while she was slowly fading away, two small children at home, and my mom, possibly having complications from the disease that I had hoped she had kicked in the butt. I needed to be in Baltimore to know what was going on and my friends knew that. They swooped in and took care of everything on the homefront, including our kids, who were 4&2 years old, and they put me on a plane and told me not to worry about a thing. If you looked up Godsend in the dictionary, you would see a picture of these friends.

While I was in the air, somewhere between Tennessee and Maryland, my mom was being admitted to the hospital. I arrived at her bedside in time to have a few hours with her before she lost consciousness. She died the next morning, June 9th, at 9 AM, with her husband and children around her bedside.

I called Steve from in NY. His mom was still clinging to life, though she had not been conscious for sometime. Steve left his brother and sister to keep vigil over their mom, not knowing how much longer she'd hang on, and flew to Baltimore to be with me and my family as we prepared for my mom's funeral. Steve's mom passed a short time later, in the wee morning hours of June 1oth. Not even 24 hours after my mom had died.

That was it. Either I lost my voice or I was so mad at God that I just couldn't speak to him. Who loses two grandmas in one day?????

to be continued (and concluded - really)